Do you ever find yourself staring down at a bowl of raw, fresh, expertly prepared spinach or kale and saying, “This ends today. Here. Now. I’m not a manatee.”
Sometimes, a thing that’s good and healthy and perfectly respectable just isn’t good enough. It needs something...an update, an upgrade, a little kick (that’s going to turn out to be wordplay in a few sentences).
Take Ashton Tiffany, for example. We’re doing fine. But you add a Tara Zika to the mix—Tara’s our new director of business development and sales—and the old world vanishes like a fistful of flour in a blizzard.
Tara played college soccer. Did you? (I didn’t either. They wouldn’t let me use my hands, which seemed punitive, so I quit.)
Tara covers her bases: Her undergraduate majors were pre-law, political science, and rhetoric of communication. Intellectually, she has no vulnerabilities.
Tara’s favorite food is the avocado, which is shaped like a football, which is her favorite sport. And sport is her favorite thing.
Tara Zika: Now playing for Team AT.
As far as hiring goes, we could have stopped right there—and most boutique risk management firms with a refreshingly arch sensibility would have—but we doubled-down and hired Siana Riley, too. Her name is pronounced “Sharna,” and she does accounting and finance for us.
Siana lists makeup as a hobby. Think you know the type? Think again: She also does Kajukenbo, which is the most deadly of the martial arts you’ve never heard of. Naturally, she likes MMA/UFC. She likes ducks, too—who doesn’t?—but not so much that she won’t order foie gras in bulk. And here’s her favorite quote: “If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.”
(Not sure about that one. One time, somebody threw a perfectly good Chocodile into the front seat of my car during my morning commute. I’d never had a Chocodile, I’d always wanted one, and I got it by doing the same thing I’d done every day.)
Notwithstanding that sidebar, Siana is now one of us. Looks like she belongs, don’t you think?